The Moderator and Me
If you’re not familiar with the new fad invention “The Moderator” please feel free to get up to speed here:
Now, as some of you may know, I am powerless to resist a fad, of any kind. If it makes promises I will buy it. Mostly out of curiosity and a personality that dicatates I always, always have to learn things for myself and, more often than not, the hard way.
Some of you may also know, if you’ve had the misfortune to be close enough to see, that I have the most disgusting hands in human history. Seriously. After a lifetime of gnawing my nails and the skin around them (foul I know) my fingers are absolutely minging, to the point where, like my dear old Mum said I would be all those years ago, I’m constantly hiding my hands in my pockets.
That’s where the Moderator comes in. Having tried every (and I mean every) idea under the sun to stem my nasty, nasty habit I will honestly try anything. So having learnt about this new invention last week I had it ordered before I’d even finished reading the testimonials.
Originally touted as an anti-smoking device, no surprise really since it binds your two smoking fingers together, the Moderator claims to help kick any habit by being a constant visual reminder of the habit you’re trying to kick. Sounds plausible, at least to me.
I plumped for the “Ice Blue” coloured Moderator (£6.99), a more discreet alternative to the colours such as pink and orange, mostly because I don’t think I could handle being asked 500 times a day why my fingers were bound together, and a little bit because it’s guaranteed to go with everything, here is how it looks, complete with my foul fingers, brace yourselves:
I’ve been wearing this little device now for three days and I have to say, I honestly think it’s working. Having two of your fingers bound together is something it is very hard to get used to. Added to that that every time I subconsciously go to bite my nails I see the ring and refrain. I haven’t bitten them in said three days, which for me is a record.
However, there are some things that the Moderator impedes significantly:
I can just about drive. Changing gears is quite hard.
Typing is just impossible. I’ve had to take it off to type this and nearly launched it mid-essay this afternoon.
Picking anything up is a chore. A massive one.
All in all I think the Moderator, although very gimmicky, is a very good idea. Whilst no one idea works for everyone I think this one definitely works for me. So if you’ve got a bad habit you’re out of ideas of how to kick, give the Moderator a go. If it works then fantastic, and if it doesn’t, well, I suppose you could always just take it off….